it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
