yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
