Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
