I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
