She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
