I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
