What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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