I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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