I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
