it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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