I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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