Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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