You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
