Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
