We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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