Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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