I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
