Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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