did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
