READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it's like iHOP with fire
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You ruined the universe
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
