My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
