look no pants
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
