normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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