I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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