I met the friendliest cop last night
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
