Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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