you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
