When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
