haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
