Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
