Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
