I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
