Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
