Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
