i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
birth control should be required to get into college
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
