If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
