Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
