Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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