he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
