getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
