these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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