Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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