well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
