i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
