how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
