If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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