one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
