K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
