For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
my poor anus
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
