oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
