i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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