Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
